starting again

had some up and downs these few days.wat can i say?tats how life is.neways,im currently at uia now.MUKC II or rather known as mahallah aishah.resting my head for a while.tired "gotong-royong" with farisham who curently is snoozing on his double-decker bed which will only be used by a single person.hopefully,i hope,my life will slow down a bit n things will look a bit better.
hopefully...

crap!crap!crappppp!!!
you've gotta be joking!!!
no way man!!!seriously!!!
arghhh,you better be wrong!!!
HELL NO MAN!!!HELL NO!!!
pls screw up!
at least on this freaking day..
pls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sighhhhhhhhhhhhh*
(-_-")

twist

3.21am..seems like a countdown rite?heck im nt sure.my body's been bugging me all day long.is something wrong inside me actually??truthfully,im quite worried.with the way my body's been acting,God knows wats happening...

*sigh* neways,starting my 2nd year of foundation soon.yeah,still grouped under nursing.though i've been thinking bout it for quite a time.honestly,have i been doing wats right this whole time?i mean,am i walking the path i should be?regardless to all those high ambitions i've been saying since kindergarden,its a huge responsibility.medicine,nursing.i dont care.but the fact i'll b responsible for a human being's life.LIFE!!it aint a small matter i'd tell ya.one mistake may be fatal.imagine giving a wrong dignosis,or accidently over-dosing a patient's medicine.all those positive respond on whether i should stick with wat im doin or should i change,i really appreciate it.yet,confusion still clouds the mind of lil sharaf.will i find it soon?or will i b walking down a path of deception?truthfully,seeing people pursuing wat they want.i truly envy it.doctors,journalist,management,architects.darn it!darn it!darn it!arghhhhhhhhhh......

God,i seek Ur help.i seek Ur guidance.

minds

sitting there in the shadows..

yeah,tats exactly the right thing for him to do.

just stay like that.

at least it cant get any worse...

time

walking down the path where they once were together.

watching,remembering,all those times.
hapi nor sad,those moments will remain in his heart.
knowing the truth hurts.
yet,he stands to his belief,hoping all this is a dream.
but looking back,its a dream tat came true.
he once tried to never think bout it.
shared with her everything.
now,
time will decide it all....

moments

as he woke up,only one thing was running through his mind."was that real?"
he once dreamt of losing a loved one.it did happen.
now this?God no.its been a painful ride.he cant face bear to see it happen.
not now.he knows its gonna happen.it always do.
but he's not prepared.not after the recent incident.
he's scared.really is.please,help..

the news

aih,bukan main lagi mentor ku sorang tuh.after reading the latest news,he came into the room announcing that Nizar has been officially elected as the MB.excited bukan main lagi.habis2.confirm today the country will be quite kecoh kowt.n im pretty sure pak jat would be blogging bout this soon hahahah.

trust

2.07am.yet,im still wide awake.my coughs r headaches havent become worse,for the time being.so wats really bothering me every now n then??hmmmm an obvious answer,i guess.but hey,it all started with me so yeah,i just have to face the truth even it does hurt.knowing tat memories r fading away,nt being the person reliable anymore.maybe it aint as painfull,myb its the same,or myb its more.God knows it.nothing much can be done.heck,theres nothing at all i guess xcept just sitting in the shadows,hoping,praying that a path will show up.
myb it'll take days,myb weeks,months.myb it'll take years,myb never at all...

<3 specially for u...

dearest mum,thank you very much for wat u have done for me.no words can describe the gratitude i owe to u.not even a mountain of ur very favorite dish can repay wat u did 4 me,nor the love u have given to me for the past 18 years,6 months n 7 days.im really sori i've been a dissappointment for u,nor have i been a good child.i just wish i can do wat i can to make u hapi,to make u smile while i still have the chance.only Allah can repay every single deed u 've done for me.thanks mum...

Hapi Mother's Day =)

<3.urs>

a surprise from India >_<

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ustaz nijam is in kl??????!!!!well technically i did scream out in my head.xkn nk scream out loud infront of chikcharm heheheh.well nways,called him up friday morning.will b picking him up at AP around noon.i dnt mind.heck,for a teacher who helped a lot in my life,i wont mind the trouble at all.so then,rombongan pelajar2 5bc went to pick him up(just 1 car tho since xramai hehehe).we then did a quick detour to TAR college,picking up anothr student which misses her dear teacher a lot,tats for sure heheh.escorted ustaz around the so-called new adni lol(sori man u had to go bear with the kids huhuh).it was fun seeing the reaction made by our teachers heheh.especially chikcharm yg ngah sibuk mengajar,ust maceda yg peluk xlepas.oh ya,drs harun's expression was also quite funny.teacher selina smpat lg kasi hadiah utk ustaz hehehe.well we were blame for the chaos made huhuhu.sampai ati cikgu lolz.had to split since my class was after Jumaat prayer.but after class,manage to catch up b4 he went home(ngah sibuk borak ngan mo n kosa.ntah ape la diorg borak smpai ust kate,"haa,panjang umur din..").


im said he wanted to ajak ustaz for lunch tomorrow.wat the..???esok nk buat,rini baru ckp.bertuah2.biarla.so after tlg2 my mum berkebun skit(wat??ingat laki xpndai ke???!!!),siap2 utk jumpa the rest at klcc.the rest eh??i wonder who lol.well turns out melor,khuz,rasya,basma,alfie,amin,im n me were the only peeps.rmai je nk dtg bt xkesmpaian.got other things to do.(blame im peeps!!!!die yg buat last minute hahahaha).xpe2.insyaAllah ade rezki we'll do it with the whole gang.hopefully,even naseer will come,iman finishing from canada,saddiq returning from the states.hopefully....





nt only u taught us simply mathematic n additional maths to me n my fellow frens, u also help guiding me,taught me tat life aint just a bed of roses,nor rome was built in one day.ur jokes,ur brunei accent which comes out wen we speak.how grateful i am to met a great person like u,some1 im proud to say he was my mentor,my teacher,my friend.i know my writing aint as marvelous as me dear nakamas of 5bc,im only able to say such words to u.thank you ust nijam....

pusing2

wt a week..all those ups n downs,man,my life is really turning upside down hehehe.nuts i tell ya!!!tats hw i am lol..anyways,had to return back to pj on tuesday since im having my muet speaking on wed at 7.30am!!wat the...???!!pelik2 btul la diorng ni wat exam pgi2 gitu.pape la,malas den nk pk.so yeah,had to minta cuti dr keje.tp smpat la kasi keje kat budak2 tuh.(ceh,hapi x hengat budak2 tu.huhuhuh).accompanied hafiz all the way to cfs,smpai2 dh zuhur.kluar2 je,nmpk la 3 hamba Allah ngah duk sibuk cucuk2 mesin CIMB.sape lg klo bkn family SnR aku tu(masing2 yg mulut mmg pergghh heeheheh.)shake,kim n piqah.ntah br blk dr mane ntah.thn kate petang nk wat meeting sat utk program next sem.aduih,br dtg dh ade meeting??xpe2,SnR nye pasal.gue xkesah sgt.some of the mates where like,"ko ni,short sem xde pn leh ade meeting.mmg kaki meeting tul la".hmm biar la.nk wat cmne.so jmpa la kat jejantas pkul 3.30.owh wait,tat was me.yg len lewat skit hahahaha.wen the rest came,trus la bincang mcm2.tp blh lak berlaku incident yg mmg lawak gile hahahaha.~berguling3 smbil gelak~waaaa,sakit perut gelak.sian kim.hehehehe.mcm2 la kerenah family ku ni.adoiii.xpe2,dh lepas.biar je la k huhuhu.so bes meeting,jejaka2 SnR lak ajak nk pi pasar.pasar malam???hmmm,br pegi 2 kali spnjg masa i was at cfs.ikut je la.so pas solat,we began our journey.as the mighty knights began their journey,caught a glimpse of a bunch of people walking out to the pasar.one of em sure looks familiar.xpkai spek pn kenal kowt hehehe.but just to make sure i didnt get the wrong person,try tgk betul2.kbtulan die berhenti kat pasar tu.experimnt1:how to make sure u dnt get the wrong person.!!talk loudly.if they turned,tadaa heheh.n wadya know,it did work.kawan sekelas sejak form 3 tuh heheh.tp xtegur la.die sibuk nk beli mkn mlm kowt keh3.anyways,the went wandering around for almst half an hour kot.nt much stuff pn.lantak la.so we enjoyed our dinner,selesaikn urusan smua.b4 9,me n ad dh siap gerak og seminar room.yeap2,MEDCY's committee meeting.hmmm,ntah ape sgt la nk dibincangkn.pergi jela.buat susah diri je pi pikir byk2.padahal nk exam esok tuh.adoi3.habis pn lewat.hmmm.next morning,wokejust barely made it to the exam.habis potpet2 dlm bilik tu,pg la bersarapan dulu sblm balik.smpat gak jd bahan some people pg tuh.sabar2.sori yerk klo kena teruk huhuhu.by noon,headed back home with loads of thing in this head of mine.just wanna have a good rest n hoping a better day may come *sigh*....

(-_-") late post huhuh

yeah2,i noe..hvnt been bloggin for a while eventhgh byk benda tejadi..xkesampaian je kot hehehe(padahal cuti!!!wtf???hahahaha)..
nways,rewind time....!!!!!!!!!!(swishhhh)

SATURDAY,APRIL 25 - MUET!!!*sigh*.had to stay bak for a couple of days at pj.nk get back to exam mood i guees??-_-".ended up sleeping in any room yg ade xtra katil on the first nite while on the 2nd nite,shared katil ngan ucop kekeke.mekasih la ye cop.syok ko main komputer hehehehe.but hey,it rlly wasnt my day tat day.woke up on the wrong side of the bed,couldnt get through the nite wit a good sleep,still sick,got quite a shock...walking to amf with loads of things in this small head...all i could do was bear i can get through it.damn,time dewan panas,mcm dlm oven.time sejuk mcm dlm fridge.hampeh!!!dh la pkai lengan pendek.grrrrrr.boy,hapi x hapi smua wen the pengawas said,"masa dh tamat.smua calon dikehendaki utk berhenti menulis.sila letakkan pen anda".my head was spinning n spinning.almost collpsed on the way back.but tried to tahan infrnt of everyone.ingat time balik, boleh la relax2.guess nt.was asked to go tgk bola.final,Selangor vs Kelantan.i was like,"wat the heck???piala m'sia,sape nk tgk????"n besides,i still wasnt in a condition to enjoy pape.truth is,just nk smpaikn hajat org.huhuh,smpai2 bukit jalil,mak datuk!!rmai gile bab!!!lautan merah tuuuuuuu!!!(both team were red bt tat nite,S'gor wore yellow while K'tan wore red).risau gak duk dkat penyokong2 ni.kang ade yg fanatic sgt,pyh gak nnti huhuhuh.planning to go back b4 full.tp 90 min and the score was still 0-0.mane leh nk balik!!!bukan slalu dpt tgk final live..n also,it was my first time watching bola sepak M'sia hehehe..xleh pakai nye warga M'sia hehehe..after extra,seri 1-1 lak.xde2,tgk penalty plak.tp ktrg siap2 nk blk la.tgk dr bawah je(me,my bro n some friends).prittttttt!!!!Selangor menang!!!hehehehe.next thing i know,we were running to get to the earliest train.alhamdulillah sempat la tp in tat compartment,smua penyokong K'tan.gulp.terdiam ktrg dlm tren.pape pn,alhamdulillah selamat smpai umah.mmg pengsan tuh....*sigh*condition was slightly worse than b4....

during the PK...huhuhuhhu debar gile

SUNDAY,April 26 - after the morning class,got myslf ready to meet the rest of the SnR crew.excited melebeyh lak diorg nk pegi Sungai Kanching.so yeah,y not.pegi je la.myb this will b the last time spent with those awesome 2nd year peeps.smpai2,they said they were still in the bas la,ape la.ntah la,xingat.pe lg,explore la skit the place.tp it was really nice.the stream,the jungle,the waterfall.boys went swimming at the higher ground coz tmpt tu rmai sgt dh while the gurls went somewhere terpencil skit downstream.mcm2 aksi budak2 laki ni buat.summersault,backflip,belly-flop by who,i cant recall.but man,did it hurt hehehe.pape pn,its a nice getaway place.arghhhhI,my spek!!!!huhuhu yeah2,u cn guess.pecah dh lens die huhuhu.tension2.went back home b4 asar n bamm,mom was already back from N9.ingt xsmpai lg.xsmpat nk borak2 sgt coz badan letih ya ampun huhhu....

hahaha look2,my hands r cming out of the waterfall heheheh...

WEEKDAYS - same ol routine.subuh,drive to school wit fathin,hang out in the resource room till zuhur,have my 1 hour 10 mins BM class with all 12 thai students,stay back till 7pm coz fathin had a rehearsal,detour back to school after maghrib for my hafazan n on certain days,tution with a few juniors..blablablablabla..yup,tats basicly my daily routine.bt hey,kinda felt excited during this week since we're having our Paintball fiesta(technically,tats wat i call it la.it was really an Alumni gathering from batch 1-6).so agak sibuk la.calling peeps here n there,confrmg the attendance,bincang sal transport etc.yet,all tat work was truly worth it.alas,the day has finally arrived!!!SATURDAY,MAY 2,before subuh - hehehe well,i couldnt get much sleep.too excited or had some problems tat nite,cnt rcall it.but alhhmd,things went well walaupun masa lari skit hehehe.tp pape pn,we had a blast.special thx to the organizerto fred,iman,fuds,mo,abg teh,fafan,sya,amin,thx for coming.to all u gen 5 yg xdpt dtg,really wished all of u were there....

black team during jungle area.
team leader:nihlah

blue team.
team leader:tikki

the warrior of the day award goes to....Shaqel!!!after receiving 2 shots at the neck hehehe

leading the black team during the 3rd capture the flag..

after the jungle game..the proud fighter n the awesome cameraman =)..
head,shoulder n my right thigh were shot thx to nabil n hafiz during the zombie war~

came out as the last man standing for the black team.had a 1 on 1 match with hafiz kamarul.xhabis2 main nyorok je.tension2 heheehe.bt hell,it was a tiring week,tats 4 sure....
huhuh n ermmm sori peeps,gmbr2 from atiyah n amir's cam x amik lg..dpt i'll upload it aite.