another sleepless nite for me i guess.paan and sher ngah sedap layan mimpi masing2.me?well my eyes can hardly close for wat reason even i dont noe.something bothering my mind i guess.hmmm.well,lets recap on wat has happened since i last posted up anything:

3rd nov,the date where i was brought out to this world.no complaining though life itself may seems soooo emm not paradise?course not!thats our purpose in life duhhh heheheh.nways,it didnt really started out much.attending a meeting which didnt finish till after the clock struck 12midnite with fscc n all the head sports,captains ie.*sigh* a responsibility is a responsibility.gotta finish those up before doing anythin for myself.though eja called me in the middle of the riot n some frens did cheer me up by wishing me infront of all those peeps.OCC meeting if im nt mistaken?gaaahhhh,who cares!thx ijah n anis =).next,a meeting with the rest of the SnR peeps.didnt cross my mind they'd gather to celebrate my bday.gracias peeps n im really sori for ruining the nite aite.all of u who gathered tat nite.(mas,nk sgt abg nangis,kat bilik da nangis k!wuwuwuwuw)really didnt deserve it looking back how i acted to all of u.again,gomenne mad,mira,shake,nu',ipan,azri,bama,kema,sher,paan,gya(gessh,didnt have to scold me gurl.scary ooo),hamdi,afiq,ghaf,mas,fiqah,pipah,ekin,alia,dira,hani,fatin(adeh,ramai lak.xingt sape lagi ade huhuh.sori)*bows again n again*.n thx for the cake.oh ya,rewind a few days back.thanx mum,dad,fuzz,bubulat,ngah,buasmak,un.rosli,ajiz,fathin,kak dya for the dinner n the present.ngeee,a new SE phone(the nokia was sent to for repair and hasnt return till now huhuh).rezki xkan nk tolak.org kasi,kita terima ngahahahah.alhamdulillah =).orite2.fast forward again.msgs came in from all over the place(thx people n sori for asking who's this again n again.contacts r all kept in the old one so yeah,u get the idea).got a bag n a puffy keychain which people keep mistaking it as a real food(cant blame it though.the looks,the smell,the softness).well,had a great day.thx to all tat cheered my day(sori for being annoying n such.ma head was filled with things regarding SMAC).

__________________________________________________________________

7th Nov,the starting battle between all 11 courses in cfs iium during SMAC(somehow,kinda feels tat the sentence is weird o_O). football,netball,volleyball,takraw,basketball,futsal,ragbi,pingpong,badminton,free-fight n tug-of-war(bros only this year.sis xdpt nk defend title musy hehehe) were the sports carried out throughout the event.unfortunately,MEDCY's football team managed to qualify till the quarter final after suffering a defeat from IRK(tension den main game tuh.hmmmph!).on the bright side,i got to join a real ragbi match between MELEX n PRESSS.wham!bam!slam!the excitement!the thrill.injured pun injured la.one cant describe the joy of tat game hehehehe.miraculously,i only came out with a couple of bruises on my hand heheh.in the end,we lost to.but hey,we had fun slamming people to the ground.kinda wanna join again >_<.lol anyways,basketball went through till the semi's.ahhh,nvm.here's the results:

basketball bro-bronze

sis-gold

futsal sis n bro-bronze

football knocked-out at quarter finals

netball 4th place

badminton bro n sis(single)-bronze

bro(double)-gold

pingpong bro(single n double)-gold

volleyball bro-silver

sis-4th place

rugby knocked-out at group stage

tug-of-war knocked out at quarter finals(IDEA hantar tentera gajah ooooo)

takraw silver

did i missed out anything??well,anyone knows any mistakes,just inform.overall,ENGENIUS won first place,followed by MEDCY,n 3rd by ECONS.owh n this year,FSCC decided to make a trophy for the most well-managed contingent.terkejut beruk den when they announced MEDCY won~!yattaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!though i may not bring back the overall trophy.atleast i managed to bring back another trophy for MEDCY.thanx to everyone's contribution,dedication,support,cooperation dan yang satu keluarga dengannya hehehehe.we could not have win tat if none of u helped out.arigato gozaimas!(hopefully HMS wat la celebration skit hehehe).also not forgetting the managing and reporting for the sports(sher,pah,jibah,nu',ghaf,fais).owh n those tat supported our team.as head contingent,thank u so much.payah kowt kena psycho ngan supporters opponent hehehe.

alhamdulillah,now SMAC has ended,my final job as head sport is complete.no more activities for now.besides,gotta let my right hand heal.dont wanna go to class everyday wrapping my hands.all eyes looking like a hunter searching for its prey.sheeeshhh.as the doctor said to me,"rice".not rice nasi k. R.I.C.E(rest,ice,compression,elevation).gotta keep tat in mind hehehe.so yeah,gotta rest now.class starts at 8am.hopefully my eyes will shut soon...

another new chapter

entering the 2nd day of my 2nd sem for my 2nd in uia pj(yeah,too many 2nds lol).yup2,its my final semester before entering Kuantan campus(hey GEM!u watch out!i'll b there soon tau).so far,nothing interesting yet.though,a sad event took place.yesterday,an un-enjoyable reunion between me and the other Johannians at Xiao En Funeral Parlour.Kam Fatt,Qi Kitt,Izzat,Adrian,Eng Chah,Quan Yen,Yong Siang,Kok,Reffai,Rafiq,Hana,Selva,guys.we lost a great friend which non of us will forget.truthfully,i was so shocked hearing the news last tuesday.its been what?almost 5 years i guess since i met everyone from SJI.getting the news of a fellow comrades death.i kept reading the text message over n over again.i even called up Kam Fatt to make sure it was true or not.hmmmm,but now he's gone,nothing can be done no more.the time that's lost will never return...

SMAC is coming up in less than 2 weeks.players for MEDCY still hasnt been confirm yet.hopefully by tomorrow,everything will be finalized.gotta send the jerseys back to pertama to do the printing of names.saturday will be the drawing of lots.alls been done.the only thing left is play the game (with no injuries,i hope).

(in memories of Lim Boon Jim,a loyal son,a great friend,may you rest in peace my friend)

while spending my holidays with watching nothing but anime,something caught my eye.nah,its not anything which causes ur eyes to pop out.rather,questions asked to a young boy while performing a warrior ritual.kinda made me think to.

-what is sharaf?

-what is the proof of sharaf's existence?

-why does sharaf even exist?

yeah2,i noe.im a human;the proof is im alive;the 3rd one is to beribah kpd Tuhan.but im nt looking for those answers.im trying to look for others.something deep.answers which would,for once,force u to think thn just babble watever comes out of ur head.its just somethin else tat i to needed an answer.my life during these few days was nt as enjoyable as one may say.seriously.so now,question need to be answered.

oh n btw,never underestimate animes aite.u never noe wat u may learn...

holidays for 3 weeks have started.yet,me n the other head Sports couldnt quite get the rest we wanted cause in these 3 weeks,preparation is needed for the upcoming Sports & Martial Arts Carnival,SMAC.players needed to be re-confirm as rules keep changin again n again,jerseys needed to be made for all those group sports(football,volleyball,basketball...u get the picture),finance for stuffs(flag,scrolls,deco???darn,xpikir lg theme..shoot!!!!!!!!).besides doing all those dirty jobs,some of us needs to practice too.lame kowt x training.adeh.sah2 zul & farabi would be pissed of seeing how i later on huhuhh.sori captains!!trying to work my footwork n handling.*sigh* y la they had to do it so early??oh ya.for all u players reading this,make sure u peeps got the money to pay aite!no money,no jersey for u then kekekeke.n our colour is red.hope u guys accpt it ngahahahha

ramadhan is almost over,syawal its around the corner.going to brunei tomorrow but somehow,things doesnt feel rite.supposed to be excited bout goin back.yet,y am i not feeling so??hmmm..

its hard.really.having the very person whom u used to share every single thing becoming one of those the hardest to speak with.seriously,the courage needed to even say hi aint there.there's just ackwardness,fear.really hope i can lay back n talk.still hope we can share things like before.like we used to.wat the heck,who am i to ask anythin anymore,seeing wats happen.yeah well,life aint like a bed of roses as quoted by ustaz nijam.and the way things are,i'll never deny it.one by one,things are falling apart.one by one......

nways,an advance salam aidilfitri to all,maaf zahir batin to whoever reads this.for those people whom i've done any wrong doings,this humble being ask for ya 4giveness.

denial

wat do u want from me??ur asked,i answer..

yet u still block ur ears,denying wat i've been telling..

i noe its ur field,but u wanted to know wats goin on..

yet,if u've decided,wats the point asking me over n over?

im confused..

really am..

its 4.01am n i have yet to get the 6 hours sleep hehehe.just finished physics(haih,lemah den subject ni) tutor..however,another assignment awaits my hand to start writing it huhuh.chemistry exercise given by the one n only,Madam NIK =).suke2 hehehehe tp kena smbung sok pg lak..yeah2,i noe chem aint my strongest sub.but it sure aint my weakest too.n besides,wen madam ajar,best kowt!!!~cantek,menarek tertarik dgn cara die ajar..some may say biasa.not me.theres something bout how she explains things.just like ustaz nijam, teacher rashidah,t.muthla, t.mimie n ust zul sidek.cant really explain it but there sure is somethin tat makes me really enjoy it.hopefully,i cn boost my grades back up..if not,huhuhuh xtau la nk kate ape.arghhhhhh,4 days left till holidays but i jst cant feel the excitemnt bout it (eventhough da mula stat dgr lagu2 raya kat tgkt nih huhuh).myb coz during the holiday which is less thn 2 weeks,i've gotta cram everythin in my head rather thn main bunga api,mercun etc..*sigh* miss the time wen i was a kid..leh blk kg tnpa pk byk2 n enjoy sakan di ambang raya huhuh.well,life just moves forward,nt backwards.tats how it is.tats how we have to accpt it.once its gone,it aint never coming back,no matter how much u want it...

p/s:to the one responsible for the awesome thingy hehehehe,thank you100x soooooooooooooo much..really appreciate it..cant describe how hapi to get it =)..arigato-ne ..huhuhuh rlly would hug u till u suffocate tau bwahahaha..thx alot

sedih di hati bila tidak bersama insan yang dikasihi..

sedih di hati melihat sahabat2 mampu berjaya,tapi diri makin mundur ke belakang...

tetapi,

lebih sedih memikirkan mengapa amal ibadah yang begitu penting dilakukan dengan lalai sekali...

lebih sedih memikirkan kembali mengapa telah diberi peluang tetapi disia-siakan...

lebih sedih melihat masa yang tak mungkin kembali lagi pergi begitu sahaja...

Ya Allah,adakah tidak sedar akan kewujudan Yang Maha Esa jika tidak berada dalam kesusahan?

mengapakah diri ini tidak bersyukur padaMu?

apakah diri ini sudah termasuk mereka yang jahil sehinggakan amanah yang diberikan tidak mampu dilaksanakan?

adakah daku akan diberi lagi peluang untuk bertemu dengan bulan yang mulia ini?

tidakkah diri ini sedar,setiap experiment yang dilakukan,segala pemerhatian,pembedahan,setiap satu membuktikan lagi mengenai kebesaran Ilahi yang tiada tandingan...

oleh itu,mengapakah diri ini masih lagi bongkak?

Ya Allah,bantulah hambaMu...

HnF (day 2-6)

here's some pics taken during the following days..

HnF (day 1)

finally,after several annoying weeks dealing with the upper people,Art & Recreation (formerly known as Sport & Recreation which is now under me since meji has gone to kuantan huhuhhu) in collabration with Publication & Promotion (now under King aka Ghafrun) da berjaya menjalankan our first program which was Health & Fitness week starting from the 9th-14th August.

initially,we wished to held a paintball tournament for the peeps in CFS.unfortunately,due to some problems faced by us including our friends of econs(thx ad,atiqah n qis for ur work..sori for all the troubles huhuh),it had to be cancelled.not to mentioned our "wau" competiton pun x menjadi coz the higher peeps questioned us bout it.aiyo.nk buat any competition,kena ade kaitan ngan SMAC???come on la.we're doing it so people can have fun k.sitting here 24/7 with not much activities,naik gile den huhuh.hmmmph,biar je la.janji da settle keje den kekekeke.so yeah,on the first day,we only end up having only 2 games which were futsal n basketball for both brothers n sisters.maybe since ESTOUR was taking place exctly on monday,sisters kurang skit kot.jimat tenaga nk dikatakn hehehehe.things went well,even though we came across some problems.the main thing,all of em had fun playing(yes alkaff,u beat them 4-0 walaupn kena sepak hahahaha).

here are some snapshots taken from the first day(not much coz the camera was available after 4 or 5):

it ended around 10+ if im not mistaken.for those participating,xsabar nak balik tidur atas katil yang agak empuk nk dikatakn hehehe.but for the committees,we had to continue our work at the hall plak coz throughout the whole week(till friday to b exact),exhibitions were held at the AMF.sports,alternative rejuvenation,percussions, n also blood donation(credits to RCC for carrying it out).so nk xnk,kena la susun kerusi meja smua.yeah2,ape gunenye IP rite?well,plans always change so tats y.plus,we had to hias our very own mini kampung.so yeah,kena la wat keje sendiri.but thanx to all who contributed walaupun tepaksa kemas smpai 1am lebih.rasa tu pn xsettle kn hahah.but yeah.arigato minna-san!

2nd day will be posted up later.tutor xsiap lagi ni heheheh.ambil masa relax jap akakakaka.

back again

so its been more thn a month since my last post..wat the heck..things have been quite hectic for me..cut things short,several events passed by..Pre-AGM,AGM(yeah2,loads of things to say bout it but already been said by others so biar la),handling the health & fitness week which is coming soon(yet another program which bugs the hell out of me..wadya really expect from our biro?i mean,arts n recreation.so how come we cant do anything connecting to arts??!!!sheeeessshh),mid-sem which just finished yesterday..yup2,mcm2 la..think got some more lol..missed meeting farah, who came to town before goin back to the states (shut up fathin..no need to brag bout it lol)..iman's also home for the time being before heading back to her new home..wonder wat saddiq's up too now??havent heard anything from him for quite some time.. think musa's doing great.didnt got the time to read his blog..wonder hw living in a whole new place feels..not in M'sia i mean..come on..based on iman's pictures(damn their good huhh),u can really see,feel the differences of other country compared to "tanah air ku" kekekekeke..hopefully one day i'll be able to go somewhere,insyaAllah..but first things first;gotta passed this program to pursue further..one year to go,n if 'tiada aral melintang',im off to kuantan!!yatta!!then another four years before *gulp*, working.gives me the shivers thinking bout it.but heck,sooner or later,everybody's gotta let go of their childish act,teenage fun,n grow up.work,have a family maybe.who knows kekekek.the future is always full of surprises =)..

by the way,to my dear babah,hapi bday i wish to u..may u have a wonderful day awaiting for u..truly,u've been a great dad that a son can wish for..sori to make u worry on this day due to my injury yesterday huhuhu(really owe this to a teamate hehehe..thanx for twisting this knee of mine mate =P)..wat a bday present eiy dad?? ='(..the only thing i can give to u is my doa n my love..thank you bah..

to kak long,sori i missed out ur kenduri yesterday..xtau lak they went in the noon..hmmm hopefully everything went well..congratulations anyway..smga berkekalan hingga anak cucu hehehe..

a lil too much of work?or basicly is it just becoz im lacking some sleep.honestly,i have the slighest clue y.alas,the trembling of these hands not only worries me,actions are also becoming involuntary.honestly,last nite,it was shaking like an earthquake with a 5.6 ritcher scale.well,myb tats a bit too much.but a joke i would not write.luckily i wasn't the one doing the junior's interview.if not,heck i may be the one tat ends up looking nervous rather than them hahaha..
*sigh* God,plz stop the pain n also the trembling.

great people

kepada setiap insan yg dipanggil sebagai seorang guru,hapi teachers day i wish to all of ya.without ur guidance,ur care,ur support,ur teachings,i wouldnt be where i am right now.though the future is still is mystery.myb a road full of hardship,or myb a smooth-sailing path awaits,i may not know right now.but i know,i'll overcome every obstacle that comes in my way,using,applying every knowledge u have given to me in the past.thank you is all i can say for now.nt only to my teachers.to all my nakama,ur not just a friend.u r also a teacher.each of u had taught me different things,whether u realised it or nt.thank u all.may all of u are blessed by Him,insyaAllah..Hapi teacher's day(walaupn dh lepas dh huhuh)...

n to teacher mimie suraya,hapy b'day i wish to u.semoga dirahmatiNya insyaAllah.
may u have a great year with ur loving family.thank u teach 4 everythin =)

fall

the incident tat i didnt want u to noe..huhuhu the very reason i couldnt join any sports a few months..
heck,until now i still thnk it hasnt recovered heheheh :D
(thx fateyn coz merakam every match..yg b/g suara tuh die la heheheh)

week 1

just finished shooting some hoops at ukc's basket court.played a few rounds n i kinda managed to overcome my fear(though i kinda get freak out everytime Man comes at me during a fastbreak huhuhh..teringat time SMAC,was sent out during the 3rd quarter ='(...).well wat a week.having meetings 3 nights in a row,got madam nik as my chem lecturer (hapi!!!!!...errr i guess :P).bro omar gave quite a taaruf sesion to me n my fellow nurses of group 15.still having some trouble sleeping during the nights tho.hmmm,yeah2,quite a hectic week.with all the adding n dropping subjects,the first year students,medcy etc.
btw,to our fellow head prep n tech in SnR,hapi bday bro.nice 'burger'ing ya hhuhuhu...
waduuuh,sakit blakang den dh.nasib class stat lmbt...

pagi di ac

"sharaf,sharaf..bgn subuh.."gaya ustaz paan bgnkn org dr tido.bukan main lembut lg suara die tuh huhuh."bgn dh la".thx mate,but i didnt sleep much pn.couldnt sleep actually.biarlah.neways,registering for our second year today.waiting for the guys to get ready.nk wat cmne.for us,we have a long journey huhuh.duk ac kn hehehehe.tapi tula,my body kinda hurts pg ni.gatal2 main basket sampai tengah malam,kn dh kena hehehe.tp xpela.dpt kenal2 junior skit.n boy,they put up a good fight,tats for sure.pancit den dibuatnye ahakz.

perghhhh,diorang dah siap.gile express hahhaha.gotta go clear up some things kat anr n all.adoi2.sabar jela huhuh..

starting again

had some up and downs these few days.wat can i say?tats how life is.neways,im currently at uia now.MUKC II or rather known as mahallah aishah.resting my head for a while.tired "gotong-royong" with farisham who curently is snoozing on his double-decker bed which will only be used by a single person.hopefully,i hope,my life will slow down a bit n things will look a bit better.
hopefully...

crap!crap!crappppp!!!
you've gotta be joking!!!
no way man!!!seriously!!!
arghhh,you better be wrong!!!
HELL NO MAN!!!HELL NO!!!
pls screw up!
at least on this freaking day..
pls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sighhhhhhhhhhhhh*
(-_-")

twist

3.21am..seems like a countdown rite?heck im nt sure.my body's been bugging me all day long.is something wrong inside me actually??truthfully,im quite worried.with the way my body's been acting,God knows wats happening...

*sigh* neways,starting my 2nd year of foundation soon.yeah,still grouped under nursing.though i've been thinking bout it for quite a time.honestly,have i been doing wats right this whole time?i mean,am i walking the path i should be?regardless to all those high ambitions i've been saying since kindergarden,its a huge responsibility.medicine,nursing.i dont care.but the fact i'll b responsible for a human being's life.LIFE!!it aint a small matter i'd tell ya.one mistake may be fatal.imagine giving a wrong dignosis,or accidently over-dosing a patient's medicine.all those positive respond on whether i should stick with wat im doin or should i change,i really appreciate it.yet,confusion still clouds the mind of lil sharaf.will i find it soon?or will i b walking down a path of deception?truthfully,seeing people pursuing wat they want.i truly envy it.doctors,journalist,management,architects.darn it!darn it!darn it!arghhhhhhhhhh......

God,i seek Ur help.i seek Ur guidance.

minds

sitting there in the shadows..

yeah,tats exactly the right thing for him to do.

just stay like that.

at least it cant get any worse...

time

walking down the path where they once were together.

watching,remembering,all those times.
hapi nor sad,those moments will remain in his heart.
knowing the truth hurts.
yet,he stands to his belief,hoping all this is a dream.
but looking back,its a dream tat came true.
he once tried to never think bout it.
shared with her everything.
now,
time will decide it all....

moments

as he woke up,only one thing was running through his mind."was that real?"
he once dreamt of losing a loved one.it did happen.
now this?God no.its been a painful ride.he cant face bear to see it happen.
not now.he knows its gonna happen.it always do.
but he's not prepared.not after the recent incident.
he's scared.really is.please,help..

the news

aih,bukan main lagi mentor ku sorang tuh.after reading the latest news,he came into the room announcing that Nizar has been officially elected as the MB.excited bukan main lagi.habis2.confirm today the country will be quite kecoh kowt.n im pretty sure pak jat would be blogging bout this soon hahahah.

trust

2.07am.yet,im still wide awake.my coughs r headaches havent become worse,for the time being.so wats really bothering me every now n then??hmmmm an obvious answer,i guess.but hey,it all started with me so yeah,i just have to face the truth even it does hurt.knowing tat memories r fading away,nt being the person reliable anymore.maybe it aint as painfull,myb its the same,or myb its more.God knows it.nothing much can be done.heck,theres nothing at all i guess xcept just sitting in the shadows,hoping,praying that a path will show up.
myb it'll take days,myb weeks,months.myb it'll take years,myb never at all...

<3 specially for u...

dearest mum,thank you very much for wat u have done for me.no words can describe the gratitude i owe to u.not even a mountain of ur very favorite dish can repay wat u did 4 me,nor the love u have given to me for the past 18 years,6 months n 7 days.im really sori i've been a dissappointment for u,nor have i been a good child.i just wish i can do wat i can to make u hapi,to make u smile while i still have the chance.only Allah can repay every single deed u 've done for me.thanks mum...

Hapi Mother's Day =)

<3.urs>